Update (I didn't die or anything)

A lot has gone on and a lot is still going on.  Let me go through the list of goals and tell you the status of things.

01.  Furniture:  Done
02.  Marathon:  Done
03.  Fast Mile:  If I sprint, (for my age,) I can run a mile in a little over nine minute.  That's way better than 12.
04.  Car:  It's a few years away, but it's in the works.
05.  Appendix N:  I'm working my way through.  I'm working more on a different literary goal now though.
06.  Sketch:  I'm not there yet.  I'd like to say I'll be there soon, but I don't really ever make time to practice.
07.  Find something in common with Alexander.  I probably have this in Star Wars or videogames.  I'm ok with waiting to say I have this accomplished.
08.  Find something in common with Gabe.  Same as #7.
09.  Get published:  I have a few ideas, but nothing really solid yet.
10.  Find something I have in common with Andrea:  We both like to run, but rarely, (like twice a year,) every run together.  Also, she just hurt her foot so there's that.
11.  40th birthday party:  Ask in three years how that planning is going.
12.  Fancy Dates:  Not right now.
13.  Pick Locks:  I need to buy a padlock to practice with.
14.  Fluent in a foreign language:  Nope.  Not yet.  This will probably happen after all the literary ones.
15.  Drive across the US:  Not yet.  Not sure when I'll do this.
16.  Martial Art:  Probably start this next year when I can go with my son.
17.  Fly a plane:  No idea when I'll do this either.
18.  Learn to ride a motorcycle:  This is another one I just need to make time for.
19.  Coach a team:  This one might be impossible.  Neither of my kids are into sports at all.
20.  Volunteer:  I'm volunteering for a walk in a few weeks.  I'm trying to volunteer for more things in general.
21.  See #20
22.  Make a will:  I haven't done this yet.  There's really no excuse.
23.  Play an instrument:  I haven't really practiced the piano that much.  When kids are in school, I may have more time for this.
24.  Disney:  We're going in September!
25.  Abs:  Work in progress.  I'm working on strength, then I'll work on losing the fat.
26.  List for 60 before 60:  In progress.
27.  Triathalon:  Maybe next year?
28.  Figure out my career:  I'm going to an interview now for a job that's a promotion from what I do. I also now own a condo I make money off of.  I also am about to start a food truck business.  There are three different careers all to themselves right there.
29.  New England with Andrea for the leaves:  Not this year.  Maybe in a few.
30.  Kurt Vonnegut:  Done
31.  Hemingway:  Not yet.
32.  Proust:  I'm still audiobooking these.  I'm mostly done.   I'm still not loving the story.
33.  Wine country with Andrea:  Not this year.
34.  Diary:  I was good at this for a long time, then in the last two weeks, I got really lazy again.  I'm not sure what's up.
35.  Tough Mudder:  Probably next year.
36.  Star-Spangled Banner:  Done
37.  Bike really far:  I'll probably do Pelotonia next year.
38.  Court Street Shuffle:  Maybe next year.
39.  Plants:  Julio the cat is still alive so no.
40.  Fish tank:  Not yet.

So that's where everything is at.  If I get the job I'm applying for today, they are an organization that sponsors a lot of charities.  I'll start volunteering more if that happens.

I didn't vanish

First thing, I ran a quarter marathon yesterday.  It was the New Moon Half & Quarter Marathon.  It was pretty good.  My brother ran the half.  I'm really sore today.

As far as races go, it was great.  The food afterward was ok, (not amazing, but hardly anyone gives food at all so this was a big deal,) and they gave free beer!  (I really like races that give you free beer.)

Anyway, I haven't meant to be radio silent, but I'm working on goal #28 and I don't want to talk about it while it's in process.  Once I find out how things go, I'll post something here.

Disney Vacation: Planned

I'm going to Disneyworld later this year. More importantly, both my kids are going to Disneyworld. I'm pretty excited for that.

Also, you might notice this isn't a normal time for me to post. I'm probably moving into a random posting time. Basically, I'm putting stuff here when I feel like it. 

I feel a lot like that guy from the beginning of Rent that was going to film everything unscripted. That said, I remember thinking, So?, when the guy said that. 

That describes me pretty well though. I'm doing something lots of people do, (write things irregularly on the Internet, and pretending it's a big deal to strangers. 

Disney Vacation

I had this idea to take my kids on a Disney vacation before I turned 40. It's one of those things that kids are supposed to dream about or make their lives or whatever. Having two kids, I wanted to do that for them.

I wasn't sure about the financial side of it, so I put down to plan a Disney vacation, not go on one.

It turns out we can afford to do it. We're going this fall. The actual week is sort of up for grabs as I need to figure out when I can do it with taking time off work, but I'm going to Disney World this year!

I still need to iron out when I'm going. One co-worker has her 25th wedding anniversary in September and another is getting married so vacation time is going to be at a premium.

Still, I'm going to Disney World!

I ran a 15k yesterday

When you're training for a run, there's a rule that you're only supposed to add about 10% of your distance a week.

Since recovering from cancer, I've been adding about 10% per run. 

I thought because my body had been used to running, it would be ok. 

It did work well. I'd be tired and a little sore after a run, but overall feel pretty good. 

I ran a 10k last week. It went pretty well. It was right about where i would have run six miles. It was a really good run. 

Next, we had a week of rain. I didn't get the chance to run after my 10k. 

Well, going from 10k to 15k is really tough. I think I was the last guy to finish. 

I did it, but my next run is going to be a much shorter distance. 

I think it's good to challenge yourself though. Failure should teach you a lot. I think I learned a lot yesterday. 

Chinese hackers

Over the weekend, Chinese hackers stole some of my log in information, and certain of my files were lost.  I just realized my drafts folder of blog ideas was one of them.  Sorry.

More Thursday.

The New Tesla

They announced the new Tesla. It's $35,000, plus upgrades. It's way cheaper than the S, and I thought no I'm ok with the Model 3, unless I suddenly become very rich in the next few years.

I'm not getting the car until 2019, but it's totally possible.

However, there's now a three year waiting list.

I'm probably going to put my deposit down around my birthday. (August 24.)

That way, I have thee years to save about $15,000 a year. When it comes out, I'll be able to get a tricked out version.

I started running again

Since I've finished chemo, I've run a 5k, and a 10k.  

You're not supposed to add more than 10% of your distance per week, and I'm roughly adding about 10% per run.  I'm not improving, I'm working to recover so I don't think I'm really in trouble.  

My last run included a 9:30 mile.  

Being less than ten minutes per mile is huge.  Shaving four minutes per mile off is going to take at least a year, but I'm improving on my speed.  This is a good sign.

The Throne of the Crescent Moon

I just finished this. As story goes, it was pretty good.

It's a fantasy novel taking place in a Middle East inspired land. The story is cool, but I hated the dialog. It reminds me of how people talk in awkward translations of ancient myths.

Still, a little bit closer to the end of Appendix N. I'm not sure what I'm going to read next. There are a few non-life goal books I want to read. More Appendix N might get pushed back a month or two.

Review your 40 before 40 list

A few days ago, (March 24,) my phone pinged me to review my 40 before 40 list.  I put off reviewing it until I could do it in front of a computer and here it is:

3.  Run a 6' mile

I'm not sure if this is going to get done.  I can run a 12 minute mile now.  I'm running again though.  I'm supposed to be in a 10k later this week.  I need to work on speed.  I should probably research cross training.

4,  Own a new car I really like

Tesla is announcing their new car later this week.  Maybe it'll be something I can afford.

5.  Read Appendix N

I just finished The Throne of the Crescent Moon.  More on that later.

6.  Learn to sketch

I think I need to incorporate this into my diary writing.  This is problematic.

7.  Find something I have in common with Alexander

This is probably video games.  I'm trying to push it towards board games or games in general.  We also both like Star Wars.  I'm still not going to click done on this until close to the end of everything else.

8.  Find something I have in common with Gabe

Gabe and I both like Star Wars, but he's two so no reason to rush this.

9.  Write something that gets published

I have a few ideas about this.  Two RPG companies are allowing you to publish your work, (for money!) on their web sites to make it official content.  More on this later.

11.  Plan a killer 40th birthday party

I don't have any ideas on this yet.

12.  Take Andrea to a ballet, a musical, and a symphony

Haven't gotten around to it yet.  I blame cancer, (because it's a convenient excuse, not because it's actually affected anything.)

13.  Learn to pick locks well

I need to buy a padlock and practice with that.  I think my front door has some extra security features that make it bad to learn on.

14.  Become fluent in a foreign language

I might get the Pimsleur Swahili stuff off iTunes and practice with that.  I'll have a language decided on by my birthday.  I'd be doing this in the car, so I need to catch up on my podcasts first.

15.  Drive to the west coast or up and down the west coast

Still far off in the future.

16.  Become proficient in a martial art

Maybe when my older son is in first grade we'll look into taking something together.  There are a bunch of dojos around here.

17.  Learn to fly a plane

I just need to make time.

18.  Learn to ride a motorcycle

Again, I just need to make time.

19.  Coach a team

I think I'm going to wait until Gabe's old enough for soccer and coach his first team.  I'm not a great coach, but he won't be great at soccer yet so there's that.

20.  Volunteer on a regular basis somewhere

I need to figure this out.  I really have no idea.  I keep thinking about the Delaware food bank.

21.  Become known to the members of a charitable organization

Same as #20.

22.  Make a will

Andrea and I were gung ho about this a few months ago, then we both forgot.

23.  Become proficient in an instrument

I'm getting better at piano.  Not great, but better.  Maybe in another year.

24.  Plan a Disney vacation

I think Andrea is going to handle this so once we pay, we'll be set.

25.  Six-pack abs

I need to start exercising hard.  There's a gym opening nearby soon.  Once they open, I'm going to meet a personal trainer a few times to get started.  They'll have day care so it shouldn't be hard to work out even while having a kid or two around.

27.  Triathalon

Next year.  Stupid cancer.

28.  Figure out your career

I need to set aside an hour to make some choices.

29.  Take Andrea to New England for the leaves

2017

31.  Read some Hemingway

Probably this summer.  It seems like the kind of stuff you should read outside.

32.  Read that book by Proust

Probably by the end of the summer.  I'm about halfway.

33.  Wine country with Andrea

Maybe next year.  Maybe 2018.

34.  Make a habit out of writing in my diary

I think I have done this.  I'm not really sure yet.  Maybe once I fill another one.

35.  Tough Mudder

2017.  Stupid cancer.

37.  Century bike ride

This will probably get turned back to, "really long bike ride," (the original name.)  I'll probably do Pelotonia this year.

38.  Court Street Shuffle

No idea.  My contact Phil.  (Best friend.)

39.  Grow some plants

Waiting for Julio to die.

40.  Get a sweet fish tank

Still a little ways off.  This might be my 40th birthday present to myself.

So, my immediate goal is to catch up on my podcast listening, then move on to a book.  Also, keep working out, practicing piano, and writing in my diary.

I'm past 40

I've been doing some thinking this week about this blog, and I'm thinking about some changes.

I no longer have a big list to work through. So my ideas for articles are a little reduced. I'm still working on these goals, but when I started, I had 40 things to write about. I now have zero.

From here on out, I'm going to be publishing less. I'm not sure how much less, but less.

Also, I might start a new category of post. Something like, "meaning."  It'll be mostly about my hobbies and things that give my life meaning.

For example, I'm really bad at being patient.  If you ever want to see me have a minor panic attack, have me wait in line.

To teach myself patience, I found a hobby that requires you to be patient:  miniature painting.

After my first son was born, I started playing Dungeons & Dragons with a few friends.  (Nerdy as I am, I never played it before.  I heard a podcast where people played it and it sounded like a blast.)  One of the things the last edition of D&D had was the need to have little plastic people, (or monsters,) to fight.  The last edition, (4th,) was very much like a board game with a story tacked on.

The people at Wizards of the Coast, (the division of Hasbro that published D&D,) sold little plastic people but they got prohibitively expensive after a while.  Plus, if you didn't have enough, you had the problem of substitutions.  ("Is this green blob with all the mouths a skeleton or the evil wizard?")

Anyway, my friends that played with me often time had people they painted themselves.  They look crazy good.

I asked about how they did it and there are a lot of techniques you use to paint these little people that make them actually look like little people.

There's a company called Reaper that makes most of these unpainted little people and they had a Kickstarter, (you can still get it on it as of this publishing,) where you'd give them $100, and they'd give you like a thousand little guys.  (Plus some big guys.)  I went all in and started painting.  I also painted all the figures for a board game called Myth.

Over time, I got pretty good at it.

It's a slow process though.  Especially the last step.

There's a technique called dry brushing that brings out highlights in the pieces.  You dip your brush in paint, then rub it off on a paper towel, then lightly brush your model with the few molecules of paint left on the brush.

If you do it fast, it looks terrible.  If you take the time to set it up, and take your time doing it, it looks pretty amazing.

So, here's a gallery of stuff I've painted.  It's taught me to be patient, but, like the point of patience, it's slow going.

The blog of the future

I've been doing some thinking this week about this blog, and I'm thinking about some changes.

I no longer have a big list to work through. So my ideas for articles are a little reduced. I'm still working for these goals, but when I started, I had 40 things to write about. I now have zero.

Anyway, from here on out, I'm going to be publishing less. I'm not sure how much less, but less. (I'm thinking just Tuesday & Thursday.

Also, I might start a new category of post. Something like, "meaning."  It'll be mostly about my hobbies and things that give my life meaning. More on that later.

40. Get a sweet fish tank

Much like the plants, when I was single, I had a different hobby, (hobby should be in quotes as you'll see in a minute.) I used to have an awesome fish tank.

It was 44 gallons. 

Here's something nobody really tells you: the larger the fish tank, the less work you need to do for it. If you build a decent ecosystem, you feed them daily, and the tank will clean itself. 

After we were married a few years, my wife got me a kitten. It was because her cat was a dick and she wanted me to understand that not all cats sucked. 

Also, after a while, the fish tank started to smell. We though we discovered a leak and the water was going rancid in the base. 

We put the fish tank on Craig's List and sold it to a student. 

As we were helping him get the tank into his car, I realized something about the leak. 

The leak wasn't coming from the tank. It was coming from Athena my cat. She had been peeing inside the fish tank's stand for a few months. 

The weird, rotting fish smell was the beginning of kidney problems which would drastically shorten Athena's life. 

So, I'm in the market for a fish tank. I'd like something even bigger than 44 gallons, but I'm not in a rush to get it soon. 

I don't know where in the house it will go. It may go into the den after I remodel it. 

That'll be a few years though. 

Anyway, this is an explanation of my 40 things. From here on out, every post will be about my progress instead of just why. 

39. Grow some plants

My mom was a great gardener. She loved working in the garden, and in the winter, she devoted a lot of time to her house plants.

I inherited a lot of her ability, but not much desire to do it. 

I used to have a few plants until I got married. However, when I got married, I had to get rid of most of my house plants as my wife had a cat. He was able to chew through every plant I had. (He would then proceed to throw up said plant.)

It's not worth it for me to get more because they'd suffer the same fate. 

Julio, (the cat,) is pushing 15 years old. He's not going to live forever, and when he does die, I'm going to get some plants again. 

I'm excited to have something growing that makes the house smell nice; instead of something that throws up constantly and bites me if I try to pet him. 

I'm not exactly excited for Julio to die, but I'm looking forward to all the things I'll be able to do when he goes. 

In the doctor's waiting room

I'm waiting at my oncologist's office.

I had chemo and it's been a little over three weeks and they're going to do labs on me. 

Today is Tuesday March 15. I voted today. 

I was raised pretty conservative and everyone says I'm pretty conservative, but I fear for the Republican Party, and ultimately the US. 

They stopped being the party that was fiscally conservative when I was in college. (Not that the democrats became that party, it's just that no one is.) They became the party of racists and obstructionists working really hard to espouse a very specific and kind of creepy version of my religion. 

I don't love democrats, but I don't think of them as dangerous. 

Anyway, today I find out if I'm really in remission. 

I'm really anxious. 

38. Court Street Shuffle

My undergrad was at Ohio U., a school known pretty well for it's party culture.  (It's about 100 miles from the next major city and there's not much else to do.)

During my freshman year, there were 36 bars in a two block area.  (Two of them were known for serving minors my freshman year.  Sophomore year, there was just one.  By my senior year, you had to be 21 to drink.  Luckily, I turned 21 the week before my senior year.)

After my freshman year, I didn't really party/drink all that much anyway and I've never done a Court Street Shuffle.

What is a Court Street Shuffle?  It's to go to every bar on Court Street, (the main street in Athens,) and have a drink in one evening.  I honestly regret this.  I regret it a lot.

When I first planned this one, it was when I was planning the bike ride.  I was thinking I could bike to Athens, then do a shuffle.

Now, this is in flux.  I'm not sure when I can bike down so I'm pretty bummed about this.

Still, I can do this and I'll probably do it in the next year or two.

Better weight loss with chemotherapy

The picture you see here is from my watch. (I'm a nerd with an Apple Watch.) It got sent to me after weighing myself this morning.

Since I had chemo, I've had a much different appetite. I had really bad nausea for a week, which thankfully went away. 

For a while, I'd try to eat what was my normal amount of food, and feel really stuffed. Not eating for a week can do that to you. 

Since then, I've had a low level metal taste in my mouth. It's not enough to make me feel like barfing, but nothing seems appetizing. 

Whenever I'm hungry, I used to walk to the fridge and grab anything. 

Now, I walk to the fridge, look at something, think it doesn't sound appetizing, then do that with 100 other things. I then get a glass of water. 

Chemo has forced me to think about my food choices. 

Anyway, I'm losing a fair amount of muscle, (my blood doesn't oxygenate like yours does, and won't for a while, so exercise is off the table,) but I'm also losing fat. It's from legitimately eating healthy. 

What I did won't work for most people as a weight-loss plan, but it did show me I have to think about my dietary choices for longer than it takes to reach for a little wheel of cheese from the fridge. 

I weigh ten lbs. less than I did a month ago. 

37. Century bike ride

This is one of those physical activity ones.  Also, this one got renamed from, "Take a really long bike ride."

The original plan was to do something like Pelotonia.  For those of you not from around Columbus, Ohio; pelotonia is a really long bike ride organized by Lance Armstrong's foundation.  (He started doing this before he admitted to doping/wrongdoing.)

It's run through The Ohio State University's James Cancer Hospital.  (Full name:  The James Cancer Hospital and Solove Research Institute at The Ohio State University.)

It's a fund raiser/100-ish mile bike ride from Columbus to somewhere else in Ohio.

They've gone to Athens a few times and the last one was to a different town east of Columbus.

It's a few days, but it's over a hundred miles.

Oh, the name change!

A, "century," is a bike ride of over 100 miles.  There's a metric century, but that's only 100 km.  (62 miles.)

Anyway, with me having cancer, (doing much better.  Almost out of the chemo side effects.  I still can't run up a flight of stairs without passing out though,) I've decided to do Pelotonia.

I need to raise a crazy amount of money, (it's like $3,000 to join,) but I think I can probably do it.

Anyway, this is a goal I think I'm going to try to accomplish this year.

With my chemo side effects, I don't have much in my blood right now.  The lack of hemoglobin means there's not much oxygen in there, (which is why I can't run up stairs.)  I don't have clotting factors, so I could bleed out really easily.  I also don't have most of the stuff that makes up an immune system.

This should be fixed in two weeks, but right now, it's sort of at the forefront of my mind.

However, it looks like I'll keep my hair.  (Last Thursday I lost a bunch of hair, but it's not noticeable.  I haven't lost any since.)

That said, I might just go for a really long bike ride with my best friend.  It wouldn't benefit other people, but I give money to them anyway.  It might be better for my well being too.  My best friend is an adult as am I, and we hardly see each other.  Doing something like this might be really good for us, or at least me.  Partying in Athens for a weekend is probably something he'd be really into though.

36. Find the original song for the Star-Spangled Banner

When I was in middle school, I found out our country's national anthem was based on a drinking song.  My teacher said, "think about the highs and lows and it's really easy to imagine singing it drunk."  

Having not been much of a drinker in middle school, I was nonetheless intrigued.  

So, I did a little research, and found out the music to our national anthem was originally sung at meetings of, the Anacreontic Society, in England.  It was basically a group of people that hung out and partied together.  I think it was low key partying, (somewhere between modern foodies and a frat party.)  

Anyway, they sung the music to our national anthem before their meetings.  

35. Tough Mudder

I first heard of the Tough Mudder from the Slate Magazine Podcast.  I don't listen to it any more, (when they went from daily readings of their stories with a weekly discussion of the news to daily discussions of the news I stopped listening,) but it was pretty good back in the day.

Anyway, it's an obstacle-course race designed by former British Special Forces.  (I'm not sure if i needed to capitalize any of that.  Also, the Wikipedia article just mentions them being British Citizens.)  Doing this is hard.  It's just under a half marathon mixed with fairly punishing obstacles.

I was all psyched to do it this year, (I even found a team,) and then I got cancer.  I'm not sure I can run more than three miles at a time on regular ground, nevertheless deep mud.  So, I was all excited to check this one off for this year, but it's getting delayed.

32. Read the book by Proust

Oh boy, this one is a doozy.

I first heard of Proust when I saw, Little Miss Sunshine.  Steve Carell's character is a failed Proust scholar.

I have an English minor, but I'd never heard of him.  (The reason for that, I found out, is he is French.)

Anyway, I found out he's been dead plenty long where his stuff should be in the public domain.

Then, I found out how long his book is.

This became an Audible task.

I've listened to the first two volumes of his work, (I'm not sure if there are five or seven.  Still, a lot.)

It's ok so far.  The main character is kind of a douche.  He expects everyone to exist just for him and he treats women terribly.  He's sort of an entitled 20 year old.

Sometimes it's painful to listen to.  (So I listen to it at triple speed.)

Still, I kind of get why it's great literature.  I feel like I'm getting more out of it than I'm getting out of reading Appendix N.

Also, just an update on all my audio books I'm, "reading."  Right now they're on hiatus.  I'm way backed up on the podcasts I listen to.

If you want an insight into my life, here's a list of the podcasts I listen to:

History of Philosophy Without Any Gaps:  Podcast that is exactly what it sounds like it's about.  I've just started listening to this recently.  I'm only up to Plato and The Cave.  (Like reading literature, this is one of those things I listen to so I can be more worldly.)

The Ancient World:  I haven't listened to this yet, but I used to listen to a podcast called, The History of Rome.  The guy who did that recommended this.

Dan Snow's HISTORY HIT:  This is another one recommended by Mike Duncan.  (The History of Rome, podcaster.)  It's pretty good.  His interview of the RAF bombers who did the runs over Dresden is pretty heartbreaking and I get why he's won awards for this podcast.

The History of the Twentieth Century:  Also recommended by Mike Duncan.  There's a little bit of humor and some genuinely interesting stuff in there.

Lambo Goal:  Two guys who want to buy Lamborghinis talk about how they're going to achieve that.  They're incredible at getting you off your butt and working toward achieving more with your life.  It's because of them I started writing here.

10 American Presidents Podcast:  Also recommended by Mike Duncan.  He's incredibly important to the George Washington episode.  Super high quality, but very slow to publish

The Tome Show:  A guy talks about Dungeons & Dragons.  This is actually a bunch of shows.  There's The Appendix N Podcast, where two or three people talk about Appendix N; there's the original Tome Show, where they review new D&D products.  There's a videogame one, and there is one where people talk about their games.  If you're a nerd, it's pretty good, as far as podcasts about Dungeons & Dragons go.

Revolutions:  This is Mike Duncan's current podcast.  He's talking about important revolutions in human history.  He did the English Civil War, the American Revolution, the French Revolution, and now he's doing the Haitian Revolution.  He's incredible.  His first podcast was The History of Rome.  It goes from Romulus and Remus to the fall of the western empire.  Truly amazing work.

The Dungeons & Dragons Podcast:  I sometimes listen to this to find out about new stuff coming out. The Tome is a much better show, but every once in a while, this can be cool.  The difference between this and The Tome, is The Tome is written by a teacher who is enthusiastic about games and stories, and these people don't understand there's other stuff than Dungeons & Dragons.

One last thing, yes this is out of order.  I'm ok with that.

34. Make a habit out of writing in my diary

Every Tuesday and Thursday my phone reminds me to write in my diary.

I'm pretty good at doing it too.

I'm not good at it enough to though to remove it from my todo list.

Still, every week on Tuesday and Thursday, I right about Helen done with Ondrea, each of my kids, and maybe something else going on my life.

It's a good system, it keeps my thoughts in order, and I feel like I'm actually writing down my diary.

33. Wine country with Andrea

A long time ago, I dated a girl that wanted to see Ohio's wine country.

We stayed at a bed and breakfast and spent the weekend doing wine tours and other wine country stuff.

It was pretty cool and fun for two people that weren't really into wine.

My wife is really into wine so I thought it'd be something she'd really enjoy, plus it'd be something that would get her away from the kids for a weekend.

I have not started planning this. This probably would be a good thing for us to do this coming autumn, but I kind of stopped planning a lot of this stuff when cancer happened.

A little more about cancer.

This isn't about a goal; it's more about cancer stuff.

I did chemo this week. (Tuesday; two days ago.) 

Chemo wasn't bad right away. They told me to have a ride home, (which I did,) but I didn't need one. 

I was ok going home, and even grocery shopping. However, mid-grocery shopping, I started to feel ill. (Not like a Beastie Boy. That'd be some sweet chemo.)

I got home and laid down. I felt pretty nauseated, but not the worst. It kept getting worse, and eventually I took Compazine. (A drug that's supposed to stop you from throwing up.) 

It made me feel drunk. 

Not a little drunk. Super drunk. 

Everything was spinning until I closed my eyes, then I started falling. 

Chemo has gone through stages of being only a little bit nauseous, two full on heaving, to be totally fine, to back to throwing up again.

I only had to do one dose of this, and I know so many other cancer patients a gun so many more. I really feel like a wuss with what I'm going through.

If you know anyone is going through chemo, be aware that it sucks. 

***

Quick update.  It's not Saturday.  I've eaten something non-cracker-ish or Gatorade for the first time in three days.  

We went to Max & Erma's for lunch.  

I was really hungry.  

Now I'm nauseated again.  

Yesterday was supposed to be the worst of the nausea so I hope that's true.  

31. Read some Hemingway

More literary madness!

This one is a little different as I've read some stuff by him before.  When I was in high school, I read, A Farewell to Arms; and when I was in college, I read, Hills Like White Elephants.

That said, I'd always ready him under the ausipices of education.  I was always looking for meaning, foreshadowing, and theme.

I want to read it now just to read it.

However, I don't want to do it with Audible.  I actually want to read his book with my eyes, not Audible.  It's for that reason I haven't read it yet.  I'm still reading, Throne of the Cresent Moon, and that's going much slower than I'd like.

In the doctor's office:

It's February 9, I'm still a little sick, but I'm going to get chemo next week. It's one dose. It's a low dose. It's only for one day. 

Then it's done. 

I can put all of this behind me. 

30. Read some Kurt Vonnegut

Another literary one!

I'm not sure why I picked this one. I know I need to read more. I don't read nearly enough. I know not a lot of people read any more, but I thought this is good literature and I could knock it out in a day or two.

I read Cat's Cradle.

I chose that book because they talked about it in the movie, The Recruit. I never would have heard of it otherwise.

Also, I know everyone who reads Kurt Vonnegut reads, Slaughterhouse Five. I wanted to read something different.

However, because I'm lazy, I, "read," it on Audible.

It was pretty good. I think I have greater expectations for literature and I'm disappointed more often than not.

Reading the D&D books is easy and they're fun and rarely very heady. It's easy to be pleasantly surprised when they're good.

Walking into literature creates expectations that tend to get shot down quickly.

There might be a life lesson there.

29. Take Andrea to New England for the leaves

I grew up in New Jersey with a forest behind my house.  It was pretty cool.  My wife has never seen that.  She’s not much a a forestry person in general.

I thought it would be a good vacation for just the parents, but it could also turn into a cool thing to do with kids if they’re a part of it too.

I think the theme of this one, when I wrote it was, "parental getaway," but also ok if kids are a part of it too.

Tri-Fit challenge update

I had a doctor's appointment this week.  (This is actually being written on February 7.)  It was for my annual physical, not one that will update me on cancer stuff.

Still, my doctor told me not to sign up for any big races or events this year.  With getting chemotherapy in the next few weeks, this stuff is pretty much out until my body can get into a kind of shape it's not going to get into this year.  

He told me this right after I told him my idea to do the Tri-Fit challenge.  This also rules out Pelotonia.  

He did say I should keep exercising though; just not in a way that will really punish my body.  

I'm super unhappy.

However, I just found this video, which I might think about when I do start thinking about eating healthy and exercising again.  

28. Figure out your career

This one seems like a no brainer, except I'm not in a dead end job and I make decent money.  I'm not making buy a stranger a Tesla money, but I can afford my house, cars, kids, and whatnot.

That said, I feel like I should be doing something more.

The problem is, I don't know what.

It's a tough goal because I don't really have an image in my mind of how I want it to end.  (Aside from the ability to buy strangers a Tesla.)

Part of me wants to do education.  Part of me wants to do management.

None of me wants to get a masters.  I have the beginnings of one, and it may have just been my program, but a nursing masters isn't really worth the frustration.

27. Triathlon

This is one of those goals like the Tough Mudder or a marathon that's fitness related.  I'm getting older and my body is too.  I wanted to prove I could do this.  

One problem I have now is the cancer thing.  Ohio State has this thing, the TriFit Challenge.  It's a triathlon that's local.  

My biggest concern with this is being able to swim that distance.  Well, it was before stupid cancer.  

I was going to sign up for it this year, (I had planned to have signed up for it already,) but I need to find out what my test results are and what I may need to do with chemo.  

26. Start work on 60 things to do before I turn 60

I wrote this goal when I was running out of ideas for 40 things to do before I turned 40.  

Still, I have this list started.  It's mostly focusing on places to go.  It's also a little depressing as, with the cancer thing I have going, I might be dead before I turn 60.  

Still, here's the goals I have on this list so far.  

1.  See Petra

2.  Have a decent passive income

3.  Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro

4.  Kenya with kids

5.  See the aurora borealis

6.  Go to New Zealand

7.  Go to Rome

8.  Go to Paris

9.  See Tuscany

10.  Go to India

I've been enamored with Petra since I saw Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  

#2 is something I really want to accomplish before I turn 40.  I own a condo on Hilton Head Island, SC we rent out. If we rented at capacity, we could make $30,000 a year, after taxes.  We'll probably make about half that, but I'd like to save the money we make, and get a second condo.  If we get a new condo every seven years, we can have four on the island, and make more money than my wife and I make in our real jobs.  

I lived in Kenya for a few months a long time ago.  I want to do this and regret not doing it at the time.  

I want my kids to see Kenya too.  It's possibly where human life started, (or not very far from it.)  There's a ton of human history and culture that impossible to experience anywhere else.  Also, there's poverty Americans can't really understand.  My kids are growing up bratty and privileged and I want to do something to make them realize what they have.  '

The northern lights seem like such a cool thing and I've wanted to see them since I was a kid.  

New Zealand is like Australia, but not deadly.  Also, it's where they filmed Lord of the Rings.  It's super pretty.  

Rome, Paris, and Tuscany, I became excited about because of the Assassin's Creed games and a few podcasts I listen to.  Kind of silly, but they're amazing cities with tons of history that I really want to see.  

India is the home of the oldest civilization on Earth.  I've been told it dirty, and I know it's crowded, but I grew up in a mall in New Jersey so how bad could it be?  Also, I'm part Roma so I want to see where those, (us?) people started out. 

24. Plan a Disney vacation

I'm a dad to two kids.  I want to take my kids to Disney World.  We almost did that this year, but I got cancer and screwed it all up.  

Still, sometime in the next few years, I want to take my kids to Disney World.  

23. Become proficient in an instrument

When I was little, I saw how my brother could play piano and guitar, and being about a decade younger, I kind of worshipped him.

I begged my mom for years for them to let me take piano lessons.  

I stopped begging in middle school because I discovered videogames.  (You thought I was going to say, "girls."  Ha!  I was a nerd.)

Then, in eighth grade, my mom found me a piano teacher.  

I took piano, but wasn't as excited about it.  I learned to play a few songs, and got pretty good for someone only taking two years worth of lessons, but it wasn't really my thing.  

Now, for some reason, I got it in my head to want to learn to play piano again.  

Thanks to the internet, you can download sheet music for free.  (Just Google, "[song name] piano sheet music.")  There are tons of lessons you can read and YouTube videos you can watch.  

I bought a keyboard off Amazon, (it's only got like fifty-something keys, not eighty-eight, but it's good enough to practice one,) and have it set up in my basement.  

Every Tuesday and Thursday, (same as lock picking and diary writing,) my phone has a reminded and an alarm telling me to practice the piano.  

Sometimes I half ass it, and just run though a few scales, and I'm not throwing my whole weight behind it, but I do tend to practice about 15-20 minutes.  Granted, that's only 30 minutes a week, but it's enough where I'm slowly improving.  It's also an amount of time I can easily stop cleaning the basement for a minute, sit at the piano for a while, and not feel like I'm blowing off something important.  

The Compleat Enchanter

I think I'm going to make the Saturday posts about follow up and cancer stuff.  (At least until I finish introducing all 40 goals.  Then, technically, every post will be about follow up.)

Anyway, last night I finished reading, The Compleat Enchanter, by L. Sprague de Camp and Fletcher Pratt.  

It's about a psychiatrist from Ohio who can shift his mind and body into other worlds, specifically, written myths.  He starts out by going to norse myth, then a few others.  

I thought it was kind of dumb.  I do get how it inspired part of Dungeons & Dragons though.  He figures out he can do magic in all of the other worlds he goes to and the way he casts spells is very similar to how D&D does it.  

I did the book on Audible, which was probably a great thing as I could, "read," it on autopilot while I was driving to and from work.  

People like me that make lists of books they want to have read, and books like these being on those lists is why Audible is such a great thing.  

22. Make a will

This is something I should have done when we had our first kid, then our second kid.  

We need to put something in writing about what will happen to our kids if we, (the parents die.)  

I found a web site, willing.com, that lets you make a will online for free.  All you have to do is fill out some questions, then print, and get it notarized.  

However, my wife wanted to go see an attorney.  I got the number from my dad for the guy who did his will.  

However, we actually need to schedule some time and meet the guy.  

If you notice, follow through is something I have trouble with on this blog.  

21. Become known to the members of a charitable organization

This one goes hand in hand with #20.  However, when I wrote the goal for this one, I think I had more of an intention of it being about donating money.

I'm not super wealthy and I'm not great at budgeting, so this one might be a way's off.

Still, good intentions, we need to just see my follow through.

20. Volunteer on a regular basis somewhere

I'm a white guy. Life has handed me a lot. (Yes, some of us will admit that.) I've seen legitimate poverty and realize how much I have. I'm writing this in a climate-controlled house on a fancy futuristic telephone while my kids are watching Internet-streamed programming on a flat screen TV. 

Also, none of us are starving or dying of malaria. I have cancer, (mostly gone,) but it's totally treatable in this country. 

It'd be terrible if I wasn't giving back or really just giving from the over abundance I have. 

I'm kind of in need of a charity though. I'm probably going to do Pelotonia this year. I go to a church that does a lot. I used to volunteer, (admittedly, for a school project,) at the Delaware food bank. I'm not really sure what I want to commit myself to. 

Also, just so I can bring up criteria, I'll probably have to volunteer at this for a year. It's why I'm a little reticent to just start doing something. 

My actual goal, as I'm envisioning it while I'm microwaving soup in my kitchen, is someone to see me somewhere, say, "hello," introduce me to their spouse or significant other or whatever, and say, "I know him from volunteering at [wherever]." 

I also realize how broadcasting about it here takes away a lot of the charitable nature of it.  However, when I started writing this list, I didn't think I'd start a blog based on my ideas.  

Cancer update:

My lab values were worse, but still within normal and explainable by other factors in my life.

My X-Ray and CT scan show my internal organs are cancer free.

On February 2, I'm meeting with a chemo doctor about getting one dose of chemo, (the idea is to wash out the rest of my body to make sure there's not a single cell of cancer left in me,) and being done.

Sorry about blogging less for the 75 of you that look at my site. I 'be been really depressed recently, (spending a lot of time not being able to exercise, (my normal stress reliever,) and thinking about dying, has really brought me down.)

Normal schedule coming back now.

19. Coach a team

I've got two kids. One is six and the other is two. I always wanted to do something like this.

I was never terribly athletic as a kid and this is some minor way for me to make up for that. My older son regularly plays soccer and I'm going to see if I can volunteer to coach when my younger son starts playing.

Cancer update

On December 23, I had a tumor removed.  It was both a great and terrible experience.  On one hand, I  pulled a chunk of something trying to kill me removed from me.

However, it also meant surgery, half-assed invalidity, and having part of my body removed.

Because I'm beating around the bush about it, and the more I do that, the more people want to know what I actually had done, I'll come out and say what cancer I had.

It was testicular.  It was just one side, but it's kind of life changing.

All my stuff still works, so that's good, and if you're looking at me naked, things don't really look different.

I still know though.

I do have a scar, but where they do the incision is on the left side of my gut so it looks sort of like I had a C-section.  (I call it my c-scar.)

So some other stuff; there's a kind of lab called tumor markers.  They're basically tests for different chemicals in your body.  Two are hormones, and one is a chemical your body gives off if you have a lot of anaerobic stuff going on.  I'll explain what each of these are in a second.

Let's start with the first hormone.  Human corionic gonadotropin, (HCG,) is something women give off when they're pregnant.  It's what home pregnancy tests look for.  I didn't have this drawn before surgery, but I did have it drawn a few weeks after surgery, and again on Tuesday.  If you're wondering why I had that lab drawn, it's because testicular cancer tumors will sometimes release that hormone.

The next hormone is called AFP.  I forget what AFP stands for, but it's another hormone given off by certain tumors.  (Testicular, ovaries, and I'm pretty sure liver.  I just looked it up.  It's liver.)  I didn't have this one drawn before surgery, only two weeks afterward and Tuesday.  (Same as HCG.)

The last lab I had was lactate dehydrogenase.  Ever lift weights or do anything that led to muscle soreness?  That's because when you perform anaerobic exercise, you produce lactic acid.  (Lactate dehydrogenase.)  Tumors don't use oxygen.  All their cellular energy comes from anaerobic respiration.  So, if you have a tumor, the tumor gives off this chemical.

I did have this drawn before surgery.  The appropriate number is between 100 and 190.  Mine was 232 a week before surgery.

After surgery, I had strept and was put on steroids.  The day after I finished my course of steroids, I had this lab drawn and it was 221.  Better, but way higher than 190.

This day I also had the other two tests drawn.  My HCG was less than 2.0, which is normal.

My initial AFP was 5.3.  If you're under 8.5, you're good.

I went to my doctor for a follow up, and we talked about my labs.  He was pretty concerned about the Lactate, but looked really relieved when I told him about the steroids, as they can artificially inflate the number.  He also talked about the pathology report from the tumor.  It didn't involve any of the surrounding tissues.  (Big deal.)

He explained my options for treatment from here on out.  The first is active surveilance.  That means I get frequent lab draws to make sure I'm still cancer free.  These go on for five years.

The second is chemo.  It'd just be one round.

The last would be radiation.  It'd just be one session.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to do chemo.

So, my labs got released to me for my second set of post op labs.

My lactate is 282.  It's higher than before I had the tumor removed.  This is not good.

My HCG is still low.  I'm still not pregnant.

My AFP went up to 7.5.  It's still less than 8.5, but it's higher than I want.

I had an x-ray and a CT done to see if there was anything in my torso, but I won't find out those results until Tuesday.

So, I still have cancer... somewhere.

It's an awful feeling.

Testicular cancer spreads primarily to the kidneys, but then often goes to the brain or lungs.

If the patho report said there was no involvement to the surrounding tissues, how would it have spread that far, you may ask.

Well, with tumors, they sometimes shed cells.  If one of those cells goes somewhere else, they form their own tumor wherever they land.  Kidneys just happen to be upstream from nuts.

So, today I've gone from elated to horrified.  I'm still stuck on horrified, if you're wondering.

Anyway, this was supposed to be my year of abs, and it's so far been the year of the ice cream diet.

On having goals

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but this is how I actually use this list:

Every month, on the 24th, (my birthday is August 24th, (mark your calendar and budget accordingly,)) my phone pings me with a reminder.  (iPhones let you set repeating reminders.  I'm sure Androids or whatever let you too, but I don't have one of those.)  It tells me to look at my list.

I sit and look at my list and think about the goals I have, and what steps I'll need to take to achieve them.

It's never more than a three or four minute process.  Some things will cause me to create reminders in my phone for other steps towards the goal.  (For example, I have a reminder telling me to write in my diary every Tuesday and Thursday.)

I know this isn't profiling a goal of mine or anything, but I saw this article and I wanted to write a little bit about my process.

18. Learn to ride a motorcycle

Roughly the same as the plane thing, but I don't want motorcycles to be a mystery to me. There's a place nearby that offers lessons. I just need to sign up.

I have an awesome neighbor who already said I can borrow his bike.

17. Learn to fly a plane

I've wanted to do this since I was like five. There's an airport near(-ish,) me where they'll teach you to fly a plane in a week for $100, and at the end of the week, they let you take off and land.

I just need to make the time.

Being that's so short, I want to point out the, "make time," I just said. You can't find time. You can only make time.

If I don't think and plan for this, I'm never going to do it.

16. Become proficient at a martial art

I took Shotokan Karate in college. I got up to yellow belt, (the second one,) but didn't progress any further.

I'd like to do that again.

Another idea I had with this goal was it would be something I could do with my kids at some point.

I expect whatever skill I would need to become what I accept as, "proficient," I could achieve in a year, so this one is on the year 38 back burner.

Note I'm not saying black belt or at thing, but proficient. I can still throw a punch, (sometimes that gets rotated into my workouts, when I can work out,) but not normally.

However, when all the 40 year-old dads duke it out on the playground, I don't want to be the first to fall.

15. Drive to the west coast or up and down the west coast

This is something my best friend bugged me to do a bunch of years ago and I never did. I basically want to go on a two-week car ride.

It probably will happen when I get my Tesla. Not having to pay for gas and crossing the country seems like a pretty sweet deal. (Tesla has, "gas stations," where you can charge you car for free.)

I'm an American and driving is supposed to be an American thing. I want to see the desert out west and the Rocky Mountains. I want to see the Pacific Ocean from the west coast.

As far as planning this trip goes, I know I'm going to need at least two weeks off of work, and something to do with my kids for two weeks. I'll need a destination, (completely arbitrary though,) and some kind of plan.

It's 35 hours to drive non-stop from my house to Portland, Oregon. I don't think that's my goal, but it's on the coast. Depending on who I do this with, (wife or best friend,) that makes it seem pretty doable.

I know Seattle has microbreweries and I'm not sure what else. San Francisco has, I dunno now, tech stuff?

I'll have to plan more of this later.

14. Become fluent in a foreign language

This is another one for the future. There are two things that are moving this goal off into the distance. 

First, I won't have many people to practice with, whatever my language choice is. I live in America and in Columbus, Ohio, non-English speakers aren't common. I want to be able to speak the language on my 40th birthday party. 

Second, I plan on getting Pimsleur for these and doing it in the car. For that reason, I want to have the Appendix N finished before I start. (I'm already audio booking a ton of books.)

Until I'm done with those, I'm going to wait on this.

Finally, I haven't decided the language yet. I'm down to three though. 

First is Spanish. About once a month we get a Spanish-speaking patient. It'd be pretty useful for that. 

The second is Russian. The same reason as Spanish, but only about every other month. 

The third choice is Kiswahili. We almost never get Kiswahili-speaking patients, but I want to be good at this language again. (Most of my passwords are Kiswahili.)  

13. Learn to pick locks well

This one sucks and it's hard and I'm angry at it. 

Picking a typical door lock is supposed to be easy. 

I looked online and bought some lock picks for about $15 and a week later I was in business. 

I put a reminder in my phone, (a whole lot of my life is based on reminders in my phone,) to tell me to pick a lock every Tuesday. 

Every Tuesday, I try to pick my front door. 

I follow the techniques in the book.

I've been doing it about a year maybe, and still not even once. 

Not once.